


Sniped

by MONANIK



Series: Meet-ugly oneshots Haikyuu [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Assassins & Hitmen, Bottom Tsukishima Kei, College Student Tsukishima Kei, Dom Kageyama Tobio, Gunplay, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sniper Kageyama Tobio, Snipers, Tattoos, This is really self indulgent, Top Kageyama Tobio, Tumblr Prompt, Wall Sex, call of the void, dont fuck your intruder kids, i cant write porn without getting poetic im sorry, indulgence at its finest, intruder, kageyama has tattoos, relevant as fuck ikr, this is just a fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-20 23:28:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22551451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MONANIK/pseuds/MONANIK
Summary: He rose both hands in surrender. “I know what it looks like, but I swear I’m not robbing you nor have I robbed you,” he started, “I may have invited myself to some of that strawberry ice-cream, because it was getting late and I was kinda hungry, but I swear I haven’t taken anything—”“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my apartment you freak?!”Or:based on frenchkey's tumblr promopt list: ‘All my intel said you’re not meant to be back until next week and I’m sitting here using your flat as a sniper nest to kill a bad guy. This is awkward.’ AU
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Series: Meet-ugly oneshots Haikyuu [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1496630
Comments: 24
Kudos: 319
Collections: My beloved stories





	Sniped

**Author's Note:**

> God, this is so self indulgent.  
> There's simply not enough TsukiKage lemon in this fandom.  
> Forgive me lord for I have sinned.
> 
> I sure hope no one I know finds this because surely it'll be my doom.

All sources had informed him that the apartment opposite of Mr. Himura’s would be void of life for at least another week.

The plan had been simple enough. Tobio had worked in SUO for years. He’d confidently agreed to the job, especially once he’d heard he’d get to spend time in an empty flat for the entirety of his assignment.

The case? Simple enough. Wait for the right moment, aim your sniper, shoot down the fat jerk as he went to take a shit or prepared his 15th sandwich of the day. Which, begrudgingly, were things he’d managed to learn over the course of the two days he’d been hiding in Tsukishima’s apartment.

The resident—a nobody college student living off the bare minimum named Tsukishima Kei, who had an unhealthy obsession with all things strawberry and dinosaur—wasn’t supposed to be back until next week.

Key word: wasn’t.

Because he was now, as he stood paralyzed in the middle of his hallway. His rucksack, stuffed full to breaking point, hung off his shoulder and unceremoniously dropped to the floor along with his jaw. His glasses, sitting unevenly on a high nose-bridge, were sliding off comically.

He was sufficiently shocked.

“Wh—who—” he stammered, and rose a shaky finger to point at Tobio, who was standing before him in full gear and outfit. Black mask and all.

He rose both hands in surrender. “I know what it looks like, but I swear I’m not robbing you nor have I robbed you,” he started, “I may have invited myself to some of that strawberry ice-cream, because it was getting late and I was _kinda_ hungry, but I swear I haven’t taken anything—”

“Who the _fuck_ are you and what are you doing in my apartment you _freak?!”_

He grabbed a hold of one of the umbrellas in the holder by the door and swung it threateningly before Tobio’s face—seemingly having snapped out of his stupor. Honeyed eyes burned with intense fury.

“Get the fuck out of my house! I’ll call the fucking cops!”

“Don’t call the cops!”

He backed into the livingroom table and nearly toppled right over its glass surface. The pointy end of the umbrella got threateningly close and he rounded the heavy furniture in a swift movement. “Let’s talk, OK?! I’m sure we can come to an agreement!” he tried reasoning, but the blond wouldn’t have it.

With a grunt of effort, he stepped over the table and jammed the pointy end of the umbrella towards Tobio, who backed off just in time to avoid a punctured lung.

“Listen, I don’t wanna have to do this, but I have not one but two guns, and I’m afraid they’re way more potent than your polka-dotted umbrella!”

“You have _guns_ on you?!”

A flicker of hesitation, and then his unoccupied hand flew to his pocket where his phone was. Tobio couldn’t let him call the cops. It wouldn’t bode well for anyone if he were found out.

“Wait, wait, wait! Stop!” he shouted, but his words weren’t getting through.

He reached, then, and grabbed the still pointed umbrella, and with all his might pulled to disarm the panicking student. What he hadn’t accounted for, however, had been Tsukishima’s steel grip on the handle, and thus sent him flying right into Tobio.

They crashed to the floor in a tangle of limbs, and the phone in Tsukishima’s hand flew across the room and slammed against the wall in the corridor.

“Shit!” Tobio heard him curse before Tobio flipped them over and pinned the student to the floor.

“Listen to me!” he shouted, “I’m not out to hurt you! I’m a sniper. I was informed that your apartment would be empty for another week. I didn’t think I’d ever run into you! I’m just using your place as a hideout while I wait for the right moment to shoot my subject! That’s all!”

Tsukishima didn’t seem the least happy to hear the full story, but his expression relaxed somewhat.

“You do realize this is breaking and entering, right? And that you’re violating, like, every human right I have? Right?” he asked, brows furrowed. His glasses were still sitting askew, and Tobio had the sudden urge to fix them for him.

“I also realize that I’m working for a black-market company and that my job is to literally murder people. Think I stopped caring about infringing laws and human rights long ago, honestly. Eating some of your ice-cream and napping uninvited on your couch are the least of my worries.”

They lay there, glaring daggers at each other, until Tsukishima finally yielded and sighed an exasperated breath.

“Fine,” he grumbled, “I won’t call the cops. Will you let go now? As fun as this position would be under different circumstances, I’m not in the mood to bang my intruder so will you get off?”

He grumbled an apology as he let go and stood up to dust himself off, blushing furiously. He could feel the flaming heat of it in his face and all the way down to his chest. Luckily for Tobio, most of him was covered. Tsukishima on the other hand, and his adorable flush, were on full display as he _finally_ adjusted his glasses.

“What’s your name, intruder?” he asked.

This close, Tobio bitterly noted that Tsukishima had a few centimeters on him.

“Classified,” he bit out.

Tsukishima raised a single, slim eyebrow, and Tobio caved. “Fine. It’s Kageyama. But if you tell anyone, or you try to look me up, chances are someone will get assigned on your case. And that someone might be me.”

“Bold of you to assume I care enough to look you up.”

“I would if I were you.”

“Is that an invite?”

Tobio shrugged and grinned beneath his mask. He rose a hand to untie it and take it off. He didn’t miss the way Tsukishima flinched and averted his gaze.

“Maybe,” he mumbled and stepped back to the window where his equipment stood poised. His subject hadn’t walked out of the bathroom yet, which was annoying. It meant he had to stay longer, and that was certainly not something Stingy-shima would agree to.

He couldn’t exactly blame the guy for his hesitance to cooperate.

“What are you killing him for?” asked a voice immediately to his right.

He steeled his nerves so as not to flinch at the sudden proximity and cleared his throat loudly in protest to the lack of personal space. Tsukishima didn’t budge.

“Classified,” he echoed himself, to which Tsukishima groaned and rolled his eyes.

He crossed his arms and stepped back to sit on the back of the couch. “Can I at least guess?” he asked and eyed Tobio’s equipment warily.

“Fine,” he sighed, “But I’m not gonna tell you whether you’re right or wrong.”

“Fair enough. Let’s see…” he said and mocked profound contemplation as he rubbed his chin and gazed distantly at the ceiling, “He stole something from someone less fortunate and now some other rich dude is mad at him.”

“Do I look like Robin Hood to you?”

“He exploited young girls for profit in his weird sex-dungeon.”

“Where would you do that inconspicuously in an apartment complex?”

“He funded a project that worked to develop super-intelligent, altered life forms out of gooey slime.”

“Are we in some low-budget superhero movie or?”

“Fine. I give up, but I bet it was one of them at least. If not, then he surely must have downloaded torrented movies. Can’t be anything else.” He was clearly messing with him.

Tobio sighed where he sat leaned over his equipment. “Don’t you have other student-y things to do?” he asked.

“Yeah, I do, but there’s a hot guy in my apartment wielding a powerful weapon of murder so as much as that’s a fantasy of mine I wouldn’t wanna leave you alone to your business.” He said, to Tobio’s utter bafflement.

_Had he just…? Was he…?_

“ _This_ is a fantasy of yours? What, getting sniped or fucking a sniper?”

“Surprise me.”

Tobio laughed, then. Be it the absurdity of the situation, or Tsukishima’s absolute lack of stranger-danger. The air around them, as heavy as it’d been, was light with something budding and new.

“You’re insane,” he choked out.

“And you broke into my house and are working on murdering a person in cold blood, so, I’d say you win on the craziness scale.”

“Not in cold blood. Tried that before and it wasn’t my thing, really.”

“Really? You didn’t bud me as the gentle type.” Tsukishima scoffed.

God, he was so irritating.

“I’m not,” he gritted, “In the least.”

\---

⌌⊱⇱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊰⌍

_A little danger's never stopped me before._  
_Seduced by hypnotic eyes and a kiss to die for._

_I taste blood every time that we kiss;_  
_get lost in your gaze when you're licking your lips._

⌎⊱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⇲⊰⌏

\---

The stingy apartment-owner turned out more willing to aid Tobio than he’d previously thought.

He learnt a lot more about the man as the days went on. Like how he considered his toy-dinosaurs to be _figurines_ , and how he was 21 and thriving amidst a pretty intense case of quarter-life-crisis. He slept in his underwear and a T-shirt, much to Tobio’s distress every single morning, and was, unsurprisingly, incredibly smart.

Probably the reason why he wasn’t scared of Tobio. He had, after all, no intention of hurting Tsukishima. That much seemed clear even to Tsukishima himself, who spent many hours next to Tobio as he… worked…

Alright, he was, perhaps, growing less and less focused on his work as the days went on, but could you blame him?

A gorgeous, tall, blond man with legs that went on for miles spent hours of his day practically drooling all over him. Which he wasn’t sure was intentionally left in the open, or unintentionally, by the student. He wouldn’t’ put it past Tsukishima to be shamefully open about what he thought and wanted.

As such had his day been the day it all went to seven hells.

He had been sitting by the window, as usual, when Tsukishima’s grazing touch had snapped him out of his short-lived concentration. He was running slender fingers up and down Tobio’s unclothed arm and mapping the colors and lines of the tattoo on his right. He’d ditched the long sleeve long ago in favor of not sweating to death in the overheated apartment.

Another thing he’d learnt about his host; he liked things…

Hot…

“Dragon, huh?” he asked, lowly, and Tobio couldn’t even if he tried ignore the purr to his every syllable, “How cliché,” he whispered, and looked right at Tobio.

That was when the final string of his composure snapped.

He was, after all, a practiced assassin. Grabbing a skinny college student and caging him against the wall of his living-room was no big feat.

Tsukishima squirmed half-heartedly against his grip, and the asshole even had the guts to smirk.

“Finally,” he said with his face pressed against the striped wall. His glasses lay askew on his nose again, and Tobio reached to take them off.

He put them on the window-sill next to his equipment and wedged a thigh between Tsukishima’s.

“You do realize I’m a criminal, right?” he asked, lowly, right in his ear.

Tsukishima nodded and gulped. “Precisely why I want it.” He wiggled lithe hips as if to punctuate his statement, and the movement rubbed against Tobio’s dick where it was pressed firmly against Tsukishima.

“Fuck,” he cursed and bit down hard on his lower lip before he realized Tsukishima’s nape was on perfect display for him.

He leaned over and bit down, hard, into the tender, pale flesh. Tsukishima moaned lowly in kind, squirming against his grip some more.

“Good thing you’re illegal,” he hoarsely groaned, and let his head drop between broad shoulders.

Tobio would berate him for the terrible, terrible one-liner if it hadn’t been for the situation down south.

He grabbed the hem of Tsukishima’s shirt and yanked it forcefully over his head before letting his hands dip and trace the sharp edges of his hipbones, all the way to the pronounced tendons in his upper thigh and the dip where legs met torso.

In one swift move he untied Tsukishima’s sweats and pulled them down his thighs.

“Eager, aren’t we?” breathed Tsukishima, “Are you gonna shoot me if I don’t comply?” he joked.

That’s when a lightbulb went on in Tobio’s head. He took his handgun out of the holster at his hip and clicked off the safety, loudly, next to Tsukishima’s widening eyes.

He leaned in close, and in his ear whispered, “If you want me to stop at any point just say the word.”

Tsukishima nodded, dumbly. Entranced by the lethal weapon in Tobio’s hand.

The gun was, of course, unloaded, but Tsukishima didn’t know that.

Slowly, torturously, he dragged the cold steel barrel up the length of a naked thigh and all the way to his startingly hard dick. He let the length of his gun lay flat against his thigh and bit his lip as he felt Tsukishima’s shiver wrack through his entire body. He moaned, quietly. Barely more than a shaky exhale.

Tobio dragged it further and let the barrel scrape along the outline of his dick. Enough pressure for him to feel it, but not enough to instill any type of pain. The perfect thrill.

He let the gun and his hand travel higher, past his navel and stiffening abdomen, all the way up to a nipple where it rubbed and elicited delicious moans from Tsukishima, and back down to his side. Right over pronounced ribs.

Tobio whistled, mock impressed. “You’re so skinny! My! You need to eat more!” he berated and lifted the gun to press against Tsukishima’s pulse point, right beneath his jaw. He watched him hungrily gulp for air.

“Get down. On your knees facing me,” he commanded, and watched honey-doused eyes flicker shut and thin brows scrunch up in bleeding pleasure.

“Now,” he growled, lowly, and listened to the music of Tsukishima straight out whimpering in response before dropping down before him.

With the gun still in one hand he unbuckled his jeans with the other and pulled out his already hard dick. Watched Tsukishima eye him up from tip to base.

“Suck,” he commanded and nudged his temple with the barrel of the gun still in his hand.

Tsukishima didn’t hesitate for a second before diving in and enveloping his dick in one swift move. Soft, pink lips wrapped around him, and the moan he let stretch out vibrated so good around him.

He groaned loud and uncensored at the sight and adjusted his grip on the pistol to remind Tsukishima of its presence.

A hand rose to rub Tobio where Tsukishima’s lips couldn’t reach, and the other—to Tobio’s direct pleasure—went to stroke Tsukishima’s untouched dick as he worked. Face twisted in some sort of sick pleasure.

What a bratty, twisted sub he’d landed himself with.

“God, your mouth is so hot…” he groaned and grabbed a fistful of blond curls as he started thrusting, lightly, into the welcoming heat.

Tsukishima coughed twice but kept up with the pace—sucking and twisting his hand in perfect rhythm with Tobio’s thrusts.

“Fuck. What a slut… jumping me like that….” He growled and rejoiced when Tsukishima moaned around his dick, eyes teary, “Do you fuck anyone who breaks into your house? Is it the thrill of getting hurt or are you just that desperate for some cock?” he asked and shoved a thumb into Tuskishima’s mouth alongside his dick.

He pulled out the moment he felt himself getting too close to the edge.

“Lube,” he said, and waited for Tsukishima to compose himself enough to point to the hallway.

“My room… second drawer…nightstand…” he gasped.

Tobio went to retrieve the bottle from Tsukishima’s room, and returned to find the man in question leaning against the wall, thighs spread.

He’d taken off his underwear and was left in nothing but his socks. How eager, he though, as he approached him from behind and uncapped the bottle.

“You’ll soil your wall,” he joked as he worked to warm the lube on his fingers.

“Fuck off,” the blonde replied through gritted teeth.

His blush had spread all the way to his ears and nape, where a blossoming bitemark was now decorating flawless skin. Tobio bent to suck on his neck, determined to leave traces of himself all over Tsukishima.

He bent behind him and kneaded his ass, so round and firm, before diving in. Tsukishima gasped in shock at the sudden wetness over his hole and flinched away from Tobio for a second before he was forcefully yanked back. Tobio slipped in a lubed finger next to his tongue and worked to slowly open him up.

He moved his tongue in slow circles at first before fucking it in and out of him in tandem with his finger. He sucked in succession, listening all the while to Tsukishima’s moans as they increased in volume and frequency.

After a moment he added a second finger and began scissoring them in and out of the willing hole slick with all kinds of fluids. Tsukishima, in kind, was practically falling apart at Tobio’s fingertips, and when Tobio found his prostrate and teased it with fleeting nudges he started shaking visibly. Arms high above his head were the only thing keeping him on his feet. That and Tobio’s death grip on his slim hip as he worked.

“K-Kageyama….” He whined out, breathless and needy. “Enough… I need…”

“Need what?” he pressed and punctuated his statement by pressing hard on the bundle of nerves inside. It sent a shock of pleasure up Tsukishima’s spine, and Tobio got to watch it unfold before his eyes. Got to watch the sweaty, pale skin as it shook in the aftershock. The tensing of muscles in broad shoulders.

“Need it… inside… c’mon, jerk…” he gasped, “Don’t make me—spell it o-out…”

Tobio figured he’d spare the teasing for a day when he wasn’t as throbbing hard as he was at the moment and rose to his feet behind the shivering student. In one swift move he turned him around, latched both hands beneath his thighs, and heaved him up and against the wall.

Tsukishima let out a choked out noise, and stared in bewilderment at Tobio.

“What?”

“I weigh, like, at least 70 kilos.”

“So…?” He smirked. “Oh! You have a manhandling kink?” he teased but recoiled in shock when Tsukishima averted his gaze and had the audacity to flush rosy from head to toe.

He licked his lips, then, and set to work on lining himself with Tsukishima’s hole. “Ready?” he whispered in his ear and rejoiced in the hitch in Tsukishima’s voice as he sunk down onto Tobio.

“Y-yes…” he moaned and covered his open mouth with the back of his hand. Tobio yanked it off and urged him to wrap both arms around his neck instead.

“Don’t silence yourself, I wanna hear the sounds you make when you’re getting your brains fucked out.”

Tsukishima positively keened at that and Tobio wasted no more time. In one move he heaved him partially off and then dropped him back down, spearing him on Tobio’s dick. They both moaned loudly, and Tobio repeated the motion over, and over, and over again until Tsukishima was a slobbering mess in his arms holding on to dear life.

Blunt nails scraped up and down his shoulder blades, and the smell of copper from where he’d bitten into Tsukishima’s neck clung to the air and made it all the more exhilarating. This wasn’t alright. They both knew they shouldn’t be doing it.

And yet it was so enticing.

Tsukishima’s moans were getting louder and more confident, and each grunt and groan from Tobio only served to egg him on further.

“Faster…” and “Harder…” were the only words coming out of the student’s mouth as he leaned into Tobio, gasping for air.

Tobio obliged because, really, what else could he do but to tend to this brat’s every desire.

So he upped his pace until he was brutally slamming into a very willing, very wasted Tsukishima. The sounds of their hips slapping together, and the smell of sex hung in the air around them and made his vision blur in pleasure he couldn’t quite describe.

“Kageyama… I’m—I’m gonna… gonna come….” The clawing down his back intensified, and Tobio had to bite down hard on his lip so as not to come right then and there.

“Come for me, baby,” he whispered instead and watched Tsukishima’s eyes widen, watched the second happy chemicals flooded his brain and his vision blanked in the wake of his orgasm.

He threw his head back and exposed the smooth expanse of his neck to Tobio’s hungry eyes, who gladly took the bait and started sucking hard on the spot where his jaw met his neck.

Overstimulated and spent, Tsukishima reached between them and dragged both palms up his shirt to Tobio’s nipples and pinched, hard, on them both.

It was ultimate what did it for him.

With a groan and a jerk he came, spurting hot cum into the practically sobbing brat in his arms, and leaned in to capture soft lips the second honeyed eyes met dusk blue.

Tsukishima laughed into the kiss and Tobio swallowed every sound like it was the finest meal on the planet.

“You’re suck a distraction,” he said, breaking their kiss for only a moment before diving back in.

“And you’re a jerk,” Tsukishima voiced between kisses, giggling all the time, “I fucking—” _kiss,_ “Hate your guts, you—” _kiss,_ “Freak intruder!”

“You hate my guts but not my dick?”

“I’m not picky if the guy is tall and sports dragon tattoos,” countered Tsukishima, familiar smirk back on kiss-bruised lips.

Like this, in his arms post sex, he looked even more gorgeous. Long limbs wrapped around Tobio’s torso and shoulders; soft where they rubbed against his exposed skin. Honeyed eyes were watery and bleary from post-orgasm ecstasy and bright blond bangs clung to his sweaty forehead.

Tobio brushed them back before he could catch himself, and the tenderness of it shocked even him.

“Fuck, sorry,” he muttered.

Tsukishima leveled him with a gaze he didn’t quite understand until he broke the silence with a snort and a smile. “You sap. Get out of me, I need a shower and some clothes.”

Tobio did as told, embarrassed over his behavior. Was he that touch starved that he’d associated some deeper emotion with what they’d just done. Tsukishima didn’t seem to mind much, or he did but was smart enough to hide it. Tobio on the other hand battled his demons for the twenty fucking minutes it took Tsukishima to shower and get dressed.

When he re-entered, freshly cleaned and sporting a satisfied grin, Tobio almost had the decency to pretend it hadn’t been a big deal. Almost.

“If I crossed a line—”

“Don’t.”

Silence. Tsukishima plopped down on the couch and started the TV.

“I just had the best sex of my life, so don’t you dare regret it,” he said, “Now come take a break from that and join me. There’s this show going on Netflix that I’ve been dying to watch.”

Tobio wanted to comment on how obvious that invite had been, on the implication behind Tobio spending casual time with Tsukishima, on the strangeness of their relationship.

But he didn’t. He got up quietly, swallowed down every ounce of doubt that dared to ruin the moment, and decided to simply enjoy Tsukishima’s presence.

What he hadn’t accounted for was Tsukishima wrapping an arm around his left and leaning into him.

“What are you—”

“Are you ever gonna tell me why you’re planning to kill that man?” he asked, interrupting him.

Tobio watched him from above. The length of his lashes, the slender fingers around his arm, the way his chest rose so calmly beneath his shirt.

Curse it all.

“I may just do that,” he said and smiled, and dared to lean into him only when he saw Tsukishima smile, too.

Maybe one day he would tell him about the creep across the street who’d had his sights set on him. About the danger he’d eradicated from his life 20 minutes ago.

Maybe one day he would.

**Author's Note:**

> What are gun mechanics? Common sense? Logic?  
> We don't know her. 
> 
> Anyways, kids, don't fuck your intruder. Be a sensible human being and call the police, please, no matter how sexy the burglar or assassin in your flat might be.
> 
> Oh, also, I have a tendency to spit poetry whenever I write porn so whoopsie haha
> 
> Hope yall enjoyed this mess.


End file.
